zebrasindenver

Through my window from which i look down upon, my street

You and your boyfriend walking,

with dog so peacefully,

I see him, i see the dog,

and he looks at me.

I see your heart take a glance, as your eyes don’t move,

and i move back into the room,

with a smiled tucked neatly away in the corner of my mouth.

The window in the kitchen looks into the kitchen of a girl,

Who is looking back through her kitchen window,

And what she sees is me, torse nu, cigarette in mouth and broom in hand.

What? i feel she thinks.

We see each other every day, every night, we never speak, we never smile.

I see her smoking as she sees me get in from work,

never a single word,

after two years,

quite odd.

The window from my studio, also being the soon to be window,

of someone else,

looks out across a balcony and sees the mountain through sheds,

looks quietly upon two quiet lovers with a guitar between them,

and down onto the lawn, where my cat is watching so ever intently,

a small ball being bounced against a brick wall.

The parking tickets mount like your autumn leaves,

the taxes cost more than my rent,

and  the corruption seeps into the most humble of hearts,

the restaurants close each week it seems,

all the cafes are bitter or full of scenes,

your streets are full of rubbish and the parking signs are all written in hieroglyphics,

dog shit lines your pot holed streets,

and we dream of summers away in the sun,

but for you ma belle, i will never leave,

my city, my home, my sweet.

My sweetest Montréal,

my dirt stained romance,

my city of re-birth,

my wife,

my love,

my home.

Toi.

The silent sound of writing is my heart screaming out

bloody murder,

bloody love,

bloody you,

I wash my hands of you,

so i can feel clean and pure,

bloody pure.

The most beautiful daemon,

The sweet poetic whore,

The emptiest of gods,

and you.

To write from the heart is all i know,

And leaves me open to those who read,

It is time to bring my head into this,

To connect it to my hands that write,

And to leave my heart for a while,

Hello cold heart, i missed you, shall we?

Becoming addicted to the energy you gave me

has left me yearning,

Yearning for more trouble,

 I was never to be your friend, and your lover i do not think i can be,

not anymore, not in this way.

There is a way, there was, but that fleeted with the sunrise.

So tomorrow i am going to wake alone,

and after that, i can be left with my own energy.

No longer yours, no longer a captive in your troubled state.

Tomorrow can be my good day.

Goodnight to those that pass with me this life,

my sleep is mine and mine alone, this i shall not share,

for these moments between the dreams and the alarm,

they are mine, and i invite you not.

let me just lay,

this violent silence of mine is so peaceful.

Pretty black lies from your gorgeous black eyes,

forever then and more so now this is how silent the end sounds,

fatigue has taken you home from my strong arms,

the city takes me down to the border of what has come and what will,

this was much quieter than i thought it was going to be,

and now the silence is shared with Dylan,

And for once in my life, my hands are dryer than my heart.

how much deeper this is than sadness,

how much stronger it is than fear,

and how tired i am from having loved you.